Three Way Path
by Vicky-V
Summary: Paths cross, paths tangle, paths become one, paths run side by side, paths split but ultimately remain connected. A collection of short ficlets focusing on the MerlinxArthurxLancelot threesome. 40: Echoes
1. Dirt Drawing

**Notes:** All these fics are being written for the Live Journal writing challenge community ot3_100, where the basic idea is to claim a threesome pairing and then write 100 different fics. Not all of them will be posted here due to sexual content. All are short because the community likes for all entries to be 400 words maximum. A link to all the entries can be found in my profile.

--

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Post episode 5. Written as a bit of a play on that Santiago Cabrera (who plays Lancelot) was also Isaac Mendez in _Heroes. _

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Dirt Drawing**

Lancelot sits on the roadside as the dusk falls with only his horse tethered nearby for company. It stands quietly as it comps on the vegetation around it, assuring Lancelot that all is well.

As he sits, he scrapes at the dirt road with a discarded stick he found beside him. At first they are just mindless patterns done without any thought or reason. Then he looks down and frowns as he starts to add some more details to the shapes in the dirt. A circle here, a few lines there and then there is a drawing in the dirt of three simple figures. Each resembles a person.

There is nothing distinctive about any of the three drawn figures. But Lancelot's mind does the rest in filling out the details such as the flash of sharp teeth which can be seen when Arthur smiles or the way Merlin's fringe is sprawled across his face first thing in the morning.

Lancelot shakes his head and starts to try and convince himself that it's foolish. He snaps the stick in half and tosses it away into the bushes behind him. Then he places his foot over the dirt drawing.

But he doesn't scrape it away.

_**END**_


	2. The Sake of Argument

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Sake of Argument**

Merlin swaps his empty beer tankard for another and his gaze continues to flicker between Gwen, who he's found himself in conversation with, and Arthur and Lancelot as they sit closely together with small smiles upon their faces.

"So, come on. Just for the sake of argument. If you had to," he says to her. "Arthur or Lancelot?"

Gwen rocks backwards on her heels as she takes a moment to bite back a laugh.

"I don't have to and I never will," she says, her face beaming with a radiant smile and Merlin could swear he sees the tint of a blush.

"You're no fun, Gwen."

As Arthur then bangs his hand loudly upon the table to attract the attention of those in the room, Gwen leans in close to Merlin and asks quietly in his ear, "what about you?"

"Me?"

Merlin watches as Arthur stands and calls for a toast to the newly-knighted Sir Lancelot, whose eyes are currently upon the prince's face. Every so often, Merlin sees Lancelot's gaze flicker down, quickly taking in Arthur's body.

As they raise their drinks, Merlin leans down to give his answer quietly to Gwen, unable to keep himself from grinning as he does.

"I don't have to either."

_**END**_


	3. Amends

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Character death (or already dead), future!fic. Spoilers concerning some versions of Arthurian legend

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Amends**

It had become a regular habit of Merlin's to take a horse and ride out to Arthur's grave. There he would pay his respects, see that the elements had been kind to the site of Arthur's memory and, if not, remedy that.

Then, one day, as Merlin approached he could see a dark shape which, as he got closer, formed into a man kneeling in front of the grave. Keeping a wary eye upon him, Merlin dismounted his horse and tethered it to a nearby tree, leaving it to stand and graze. He stepped cautiously towards the stranger before Arthur's grave.

Merlin's footsteps rustled through the grass and once the man heard it he looked up. The man's face was worn with age and battle, his hair was thinning and was a dull grey, his chin was heavy with unkempt stubble. But when Merlin met his eyes he felt a stab of something familiar and a name formed upon his lips.

"Lancelot?"

"Merlin." Lancelot nodded, looking Merlin up and down, taking in his aged appearance as well. "You've changed."

"So have you," Merlin said, feeling his eyes flash with a bitterness the past had caused.

Lancelot seemed to pick up on it for he raised his hands in surrender. "I'm not here to cause any harm, Merlin, you have my word. Just to pay my respects."

Merlin lingered back for a little while longer but then he saw the sadness and regret within Lancelot's eyes and knew him to be telling the truth. He walked up to Lancelot's side and knelt down on the ground next to him.

"I should have made amends a long time ago," Lancelot said, his voice heavy. "Understand, Merlin, I never wanted to cause any of us the pain I did. Even to this day I can make no sense of it. I just wish I took this step towards Arthur again before now."

"It's okay." Merlin rested his hand upon Lancelot's shoulder. "He's glad you're here. So am I."

The wind sighed gently through the trees, almost as if in response. Their eyes met again and for a moment things were just like old times when they were younger and the three of them would smile and laugh together.

_**END**_

**Ending Notes:** This fic is based upon versions of Arthurian legend which say that Lancelot threw himself on the grave of the king and stayed there for six weeks, eating nothing, until he died. I took this information from The Dictionary of Mythology by J.A. Coleman.


	4. Messenger

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Messenger**

The air around them is heavy as Merlin slides Arthur's clothes onto his body and they can both feel it. It's almost suffocating and settles itself heavily in the pit of their guts. Arthur's eyes remain upon a spot on the floor which is shadowed by the wall. Merlin watches the clothing fall into place and not one of them speaks a word. Not until Merlin finishes by smoothing Arthur's jacket at the shoulders.

Arthur's eyes move up and he looks ahead of him at the thick stone wall. Merlin doesn't see it until Arthur speaks. He's too busy staring down at where his hands have rested upon the prince's shoulders.

"You're to take Lancelot his meal today," Arthur says, his voice low.

Merlin looks at him and slides his hands off Arthur's shoulders. "Yes."

"And while you're there," Arthur continues, turning to face Merlin. "You'll give him this message."

He reaches out to Merlin, taking his chin in his hand. Arthur leans towards him, their lips join and for just a moment things feel fine again. When Arthur draws away, Merlin nods to show he understands.

There's a small smile upon Arthur's face as he grips Merlin's chin a little tighter and leans into him again.

---

The guards are satisfied by Merlin's statement of "food for the prisoner" and a check of the small tray in his hand reveals nothing suspicious. The door to Lancelot's cell swings open and the shamed ex-knight looks up at the noise. His eyes widen in surprise and he is about to stand when Merlin shifts the tray to balance it on one arm and raise his hand, signalling for him to stay as he is.

"Just bringing some food," Merlin says. He kneels down, settles the tray at Lancelot's side and lowers his voice as he adds; "and a message from Arthur."

Merlin gently takes Lancelot's chin, just as Arthur did, and leans towards him. The kiss is very brief because he's aware of the guard's eyes which may turn to him at any minute. When he draws away, Lancelot looks puzzled. The last he heard of things, Arthur wasn't very pleased with him at all. His mouth opens but before he can say anything or even push out a gasp, Merlin is there again with another brief kiss.

"That's from me."

_**END**_


	5. Rub It In

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** -

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Rub It In**

The only thing Lancelot knew he had been expecting from his first day of basic training was that it would be hard. Even so, he couldn't quite believe how heavy his limbs were feeling with various aches and pains.

Merlin had sat him down and begun pressing his fingers into Lancelot's shoulders. Lancelot didn't mind because it was working, and very well at that. Magic was the only word he could think of for how he slowly rubbed the aches out of his muscles but Lancelot couldn't quite work out why.

"No wonder you're hurting," Merlin said, pulling back Lancelot's shirt and spotting some of the bruises left when Arthur had struck his back and claimed he was leaving himself open.

"It'll get better with more training."

"Training," Merlin said with amused scepticism. "He just likes the excuse for hitting people with pointy sticks."

Lancelot might have laughed, but he was too tired.

At that moment the door to Merlin's room opened and Arthur poked his head around it. Lancelot moved to stand, but felt Merlin press down upon his shoulders to keep him sitting. Arthur observed them for a brief moment before looking at Merlin with one eyebrow raised.

"Merlin, don't I give you enough to do?"

"I," Merlin replied, "am making sure your new knight isn't too stiff to get up tomorrow."

"Everyone else manages."

"Just."

Lancelot supposed it had been something Merlin said or the way he did so because Arthur stepped into the room and up to within half an inch of where he was sitting. Then Arthur started to list all the things Merlin could do once he had, (quickly), finished. After each task, Merlin replied with "yes", sometimes adding "sire" at the end.

Lancelot had been respectfully not paying much attention and then almost jumped up in surprise when he felt Arthur's fingers brush against and settle on his cheek. What surprised him even more was finding himself leaning into the touch. As he did, Arthur withdrew his hand, running his fingers down Lancelot's cheek and over his chin. Arthur gave his last order to Merlin before leaving, apparently as though nothing unexpected had happened at all.

He looked up at Merlin, hoping that perhaps he would find some sort of explanation. But all Merlin did was shake his head, look down at Lancelot with a smile and say; "you get used to him."

_**END**_


	6. Lucky Coincidence

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Lucky Coincidence**

When Merlin was around Arthur he could feel the air become thick with frustration after another final test failed. So crossing paths with Lancelot was the best piece of luck he'd had for a long time. He ended up pushing both his and Lancelot's luck in creating the false seal. Just as he had known, Lancelot did the rest in proving himself. When he watched Lancelot advance through training, he saw him fall sometimes and felt his chest jump as Arthur reached out his hand. Merlin's eyes meet Arthur's and he knows he's done well.

---

Potential recruits kept failing and the issue of the griffin made things worse. But then Lancelot had come along and, despite the rocky start, Arthur rediscovered the rush of finding someone worth his attention and he found himself smiling again when he met Merlin's eyes.

---

The dishonesty bothered him, but Lancelot knew Merlin had done so with good intentions. He saw the small smile upon Arthur's face when he pulled him back to his feet, (something he never saw done for anyone else), the grin on Merlin from where he always waits for them on the sideline and it's so easy to forget the worry.

_**END**_


	7. Small Things

**Rating:** PG-13

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Small Things**

It's in the way Merlin dresses Arthur, making sure everything is in its exact place and secure because nothing is going to be held back. His eyebrows dip in concentration and his hands fumble so slightly Lancelot has to really watch closely in order to see it. But Arthur always does because he rolls his eyes and calls Merlin an idiot. Merlin retorts by calling Arthur a prat and there is a battle of banter between them until the dressing is done. They're getting on each others nerves and bickering but, all the same, there's a spark between them when their eyes meet and Lancelot is sure Merlin ends up standing just a little closer than he had been.

---

It's in the way Arthur pushes Lancelot through basic training quickly, recognising that he has the skills necessary to go to the next level. Merlin watches and can't help but wince sometimes when Lancelot hits the ground. But this is Arthur, after all. You don't get any special treatment, no matter who you are or what goes on behind closed doors.

Afterwards he pulls Lancelot to his feet and spares a few moments to tell him where he needs to improve, just as he does with all the trainees. But Merlin sees there's much more of a smile upon Arthur when he talks to Lancelot and how his hand remains upon his shoulder for a few moments longer than it should, sliding off when his arm withdraws.

---

It's in the way Merlin goes to Lancelot just before training begins, smoothing down his chain mail and encouraging him. When Arthur had first seen it, he'd felt a stab of jealousy and easily managed to disguise that with the claim of testing Lancelot's reaction time.

Days later, Merlin told him with a grin about Lancelot sharing his bed when Arthur asked. By that time Arthur had accepted him into basic training and felt no hesitation in telling Merlin that the next time he came to his chambers he should bring Lancelot as well.

Merlin had no hesitation either.

It's impressive how easily Lancelot adapts to the new situation, still encouraged by Merlin with strokes down his arm and kisses along his neck.

Training commences as usual the next day. Lancelot moves somewhat uncomfortably but his skills remain exceptional and Arthur finds he can't help but respect that.

_**END**_


	8. Six Weeks

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Follows Amends, (chapter 3). Character death. Spoilers concerning some versions of Arthurian legend

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Six Weeks**

On the first week, Merlin found Lancelot upon Arthur's grave. He had taken one look at him and knew Lancelot regretted everything which happened to tear them apart just as much as he did. Merlin never once had the heart to hate Lancelot and knew he wasn't speaking out of terms when he said Arthur held nothing against him either.

On the second week, Lancelot was still there. The king had him removed and placed in the prisons, where Merlin went to see him as often as he could. Lancelot smiled during those visits and in his eyes Merlin could still see the hopeful young man who had come to Camelot and proved the code wrong.

On the third week, thanks to Merlin's influence, the king released Lancelot. He went straight back to Arthur's grave.

On the fourth week, Merlin knew there was something wrong. Lancelot was visibly thinner and weaker. He tried so hard to get him to eat something. But Lancelot shook his head and refused.

On the fifth week, Merlin was becoming desperate. He knew Lancelot still hadn't eaten a single bite and wondered if he was still punishing himself. Still he continued trying to get Lancelot to eat, telling him that the past was done. That Arthur had forgiven him and they both knew it. When Lancelot continued to refuse, Merlin thought about dragging him away and, if he had to, forcing some food down his throat. But he never acted upon those thoughts. He knew he could take Lancelot as far away from Arthur as possible, but he would still find his way back. And Merlin knew he would do exactly the same thing.

On the sixth week, Merlin found Lancelot laying upon Arthur's grave. His body was still and his face was peaceful. Despite the knowledge of his death heavily within Merlin's whole body, he checked for his breathing and heartbeat again and again. Each time the hope of mistake grew even more desperate. Eventually he had to admit defeat and Merlin felt himself grow older as he realised he was alone.

_**END**_

**Ending Notes:** This fic is based upon versions of Arthurian legend which say that Lancelot threw himself on the grave of the king and stayed there for six weeks, eating nothing, until he died. I took this information from The Dictionary of Mythology by J.A. Coleman.


	9. Think You Can Dance?

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** -

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Think You Can Dance?**

Their movements were awkward and then they jerked to a stop once again when Arthur hissed sharply as Lancelot stepped on his foot.

"Sorry sire," Lancelot spoke his apology and tried to step back but Arthur still had a grip upon him. So all he could do was shuffle his feet away from Arthur's and hope he could keep it like that.

"With your bloodline, Lancelot, I would have thought dancing to be almost second nature to you," Arthur said with a frown.

"I never cared much for it sire," Lancelot said. "My time was always devoted to my sword work."

Arthur appeared to be satisfied with the answer. "That I can understand," he said. "I never cared for dancing either. But it's a grace of the court I've had to learn, as will you."

Lancelot's eyes briefly met Merlin's, who had settled himself against the far wall to watch and there was a quick feeling of relief between them.

"About that," Lancelot said, somewhat tentatively. "Shouldn't I be learning how to lead?"

"I wouldn't be too hopeful," Merlin said, "if you've got Arthur for a teacher."

"You've learned?"

"Merlin doesn't," Arthur said, rather sharply. "He doesn't have any need for it but especially not after what he thought he could get away with."

And Lancelot just had to ask; "what?"

Arthur gave a warning glare and opened his mouth, but by then Merlin had already grinned and stepped forward. His foot struck out, hooked around Arthur's ankle and then pulled back. The result was Arthur being pulled completely off balance. He still had one hand on Lancelot's side and tightened his grip as he began to fall. But that did nothing at all to restore his balance. His other arm struck out wildly and hit Merlin's chest. Upon contact, Arthur clenched his fist, grasping a handful of Merlin's shirt and dragged him down as well.

It all ended up with the three of them in a pile on the floor, trying to figure out which limbs belonged to them as their minds were still wildly swirling around.

"Just that," said Merlin, flexing his fingers, which had just happened to have landed upon Lancelot's backside, and sliding one of his legs off Arthur's to settle it between his thighs.

From the bottom of the pile Arthur just rolled his eyes and huffed.

"We'll pick this up again later."

_**END**_


	10. Almost Made It

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Future fic. Assumes Lancelot has returned to Camelot and his knighthood.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Almost Made It**

They rode out after receiving reports of a gang of raiders attacking villages. Smoke was seen in the distance. Arthur ordered the knights to ride fast but when they arrived the raiders had gone and the village seemed abandoned.

When they went inside to search for survivors they found the villagers had not fled but were slaughtered where they stood. Some had fallen in the street with deep fatal wounds in their back as they tried to hide underneath carts or shield their children. There were more inside their own homes, slumped over tables and workbenches. As the fires died down, it was found that some had been trapped within the flames, left to suffocate.

As the orders went out from Arthur to keep searching, Merlin looked towards Lancelot but couldn't catch his eye.

***

He found him outside the village, near the forest. Lancelot was on his knees and it was only when he came to his side did Merlin see the child. Like all the other villagers he was dead and when Merlin saw the dark curly hair upon the boy's head which was mattered with blood he felt a cold stab in his gut which made him feel sick.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, placing his hand upon Lancelot's back and trying to figure out if they were thinking the same thing. That this was the child who nearly got away and that Lancelot was looking at what could have so easily been him. "Do you... think it's the same ones?"

"It doesn't matter," Lancelot said, his voice heavy. "When we find them I'll treat them as though they are."

Then Lancelot rose, taking the boy in his arms as he did. Merlin stayed close to him. When he met Lancelot's eyes he knew this time what his thoughts were. They wouldn't be able to tell who the boy's family was, but he needed to be returned to his village.

Arthur was the first one who met them as they went back into the village and for a moment he looked hopeful that the boy in Lancelot's arms was a survivor. Then he saw Lancelot's downcast eyes and Merlin's remorseful expression and knew otherwise.

As Lancelot passed him, Arthur reached out and squeezed his shoulder, despite knowing he probably couldn't feel it through the chain mail.

"We'll find them."

Lancelot nodded and Arthur knew he believed him.

_**END**_


	11. Correspondence

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 8, 11 and 13.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Correspondence**

Merlin didn't change much and Arthur had been quick to note that. All the same, when he opened the door to Merlin's bedroom after finally deciding to see for himself what could be keeping his servant for so long, he shook his head as he noticed the mess on the floor.

In the middle of it was Merlin, sleeping on top of crumpled bed sheets.

Arthur spotted the cupboard against the wall which surely still went unused. He reached out and pulled the doors open only to be surprised when some parchment fell out. As they settled upon the floor, Arthur realised what had fallen were three envelopes, sealed closed with red wax.

And the name on the envelopes was Lancelot's.

There were more within the cupboard, forming a small pile and Arthur had no doubt they were all the same. He could remember how miserable Merlin was after Lancelot left and how short tempered he had been himself. Seeing Merlin so unhappy only reminded Arthur how much he had hated to see Lancelot leave as well.

Arthur picked up the envelopes from the floor and, after a moment of thought, broke the seal on one of them. He knew Merlin would be upset but it seemed clear to him the letters weren't going to be sent.

_Lancelot_, was the messy writing on the first one. _Have I done the right thing in helping to free the child? As long as I keep protecting Arthur surely everything will be fine._

Arthur looked up at Merlin's sleeping form as he recalled the night they returned the Druid boy back to his people.

Protecting?

He opened the next one.

_Lancelot, It's all okay now. For a moment I thought I had lost him and didn't know what to do. He's still a prat but at the same time I'm proud of him._

_Lancelot_, said the last one. _I've failed him. I've failed him and now he lays dying. I don't know what to do and I'm so afraid._

Arthur looked up as he folded the letters back down and placed them back inside the cupboard. Stepping towards Merlin, Arthur reached out his hand with the intention of shaking him awake.

Then he stopped when he saw that resting underneath Merlin's hand was another piece of parchment with writing scrawled across it.

_Lancelot_, it read. _When will you come back?_

_**END**_


	12. Just Passing By

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** AU. Based on those modern day reincarnation fics, but especially Sweet Dreams Fly by themegaloo. Google it if you're curious

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Just Passing By**

After the large castle of Camelot, a one bedroom flat above a corner shop in London was definitely a downgrade. But Merlin could appreciate that times had, (drastically), changed. And he had Arthur back, (after waiting to find him for many hundreds of years), which made it much more bearable.

But he would still sit by the window, gazing down at the passing crowd, watching them closely. Hoping he might spot him passing by.

He only looked away when he pricked himself for the umpteenth time upon the needle he was using to fix Arthur's jacket. It was needed for a job interview the next day.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Still such a girl, Merlin."

Merlin frowned and let the needle take over by itself. He never had got around to getting Gwen to teach him and practice making perfect apparently didn't apply when it came to his sewing.

"Do you think he's out there as well?" Merlin asked as he went back to gazing out of the window.

"Who?"

Merlin gave him a look. They both knew who.

"If he is," Arthur went on. "He'll be hard to find. Nobody would call themselves Lancelot these days. It's even worse than Merlin. Just."

"Yeah." Merlin laughed. "And he was always running off."

"Probably your influence."

"On his gallant deeds. If Lancelot is still here, he's probably out in some third world country or something. Helping out."

As Merlin went on, there was a sadness which crept into and grew in his voice. Arthur stepped up to him, walking around the needle, thread and jacket as it finished and dropped onto a chair.

"You know how much I'd love for him to still be here, Merlin," he said. "If I could, I'd have things stay how they were when everything was," he breathed hard, "fine."

"So would I."

Arthur rested his hands on Merlin's shoulders, feeling him lean into his arms. He flexed his fingers, rubbing Merlin through his shirt and found himself watching the people through the window as well.

Arthur had been looking for Lancelot for a long time too. On the street. Through the windows he passed. As he queued to pay for his food bill or bus ticket. Amongst the crowds packing themselves into the tube stations.

Because maybe. Just maybe.

_**END**_


	13. Stimulus

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Stimulus**

"Arise, Sir Lancelot. Knight of Camelot."

Lancelot does so and looks as though he's still trying to figure out whether or not he's dreaming. But as the applause echoes off the walls, he smiles and that's reassuring. Their eyes meet and Merlin feels a spark shoot through his body before he loses sight of Lancelot behind the knights who surround him, slapping his back and shaking his hand.

He turns to Arthur, their eyes meet and Merlin can't help but grin. "I told you, didn't I?"

"I vaguely remember you might have mentioned something about thinking he's really good," Arthur said.

"I _know_ he's really good." Merlin steps closer to Arthur. "He's shared my bed, hasn't he?"

Merlin says it with raised eyebrows and a sly grin he can feel stretching practically to his ears. His head is bowed just a little so he rolls his eyes up, keeping close and careful eye contact with Arthur. He watches his eyes, so easily able to imagine what is going through his mind and seeing the shudder Arthur only just manages to keep down.

"Shall I bring him tonight?" Merlin asks. "_My lord_." He says it in that particular way and receives The Look in return as Arthur regains his composure.

"Considering this is his knighting ceremony, _I'll_ bring him," says Arthur. "You just try and remember to turn up."

Arthur steps away and when the knights see him coming they part to allow him through. He leads Lancelot away with an arm around his shoulder, marking his claim.

Merlin wants to follow them but, for appearances sake, he slinks away to Gaius and another opportunity to gloat. Experience has taught him that the wait makes things better

_**END**_


	14. Restyle

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** -

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Restyle**

Lancelot must be asleep. Either that or Arthur assumes he has a lot of patience because he's letting Merlin play with his hair. He watches but Lancelot doesn't stir as Merlin's fingers brush through his hair, pulls it back whenever it falls into his face and twists it gently. Unless Arthur is mistaken, (which he very highly doubts), Merlin appears to be making lots of little braids.

Such a _girl_.

Arthur says nothing, just shakes his head, momentarily catching Merlin's attention and a quick perplexed glance before he goes back to what he's doing. As Arthur shifts closer to the pair of them he finds that Lancelot _is_ still awake because he feels his arms circle around him and his fingers settle in a light grip upon his shoulders to pull him even closer.

"What's he doing?" Lancelot asks and Arthur feels his breath ghosting against his forehead.

"Braiding your hair," Arthur says and closes his eyes. He's tired and his voice sounds heavy. But he's able to speak loud enough for Merlin to hear. "Making you into just as much of a girl as he is."

"Yours is just too short." Merlin reaches over to run his fingers through Arthur's hair, only to be slapped away. Arthur's hand drops down over Lancelot's back.

"Will they be out by the morning?"

"Depends when I fall asleep," Merlin says.

"And when you wake up," Arthur adds. "You're still to turn up for training on time, braids or no."

A small groan rumbles in Lancelot's throat and Arthur feels Merlin's fingers run through his hair again. But he's too tired to slap him away this time. Arthur finds it would have been pointless anyway, because Merlin strokes through his hair, over his cheek and then settles his hand upon his shoulder.

_**END**_


	15. Downpour

**Rating:** high PG-13 (maybe low R)

**Notes:** Sexual content

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Downpour**

It's pouring down with rain but that doesn't matter because war and enemy attack doesn't stop just for the weather. So training continues and Merlin watches, pressing himself against a wall to try and shelter underneath the roof but it doesn't help much. He knows later he'll be cleaning Arthur's armour and sword, making sure they haven't and don't rust and it isn't something he's looking forward to. For the time being he tries to keep his mind off it by watching as Arthur barks orders and Lancelot obeys, jabbing and swinging a sword through the air. His eyebrows dip down as he concentrates and listens hard through the rain while it hammers down around and upon them.

On the whole, it's a wonderful distraction for Merlin because both Arthur and Lancelot look good with wet hair.

After some time the training stops but the rain doesn't and they're all soaked through. The three of them end up back in Arthur's chamber and, while Merlin has become good at helping to get chain mail on, he's even better at getting it off.

Merlin pushes Lancelot's hair back, strokes it out of his face and squeezes out drops of water which trickle down his wrists. He can feel Arthur against his back, pressing his lips down hard upon his shoulder, gripping his hips tightly. It's because Merlin's focus is on Lancelot and, although Arthur has found a respect for the new trainee, he hates that. While he feels he can still get away with it, Merlin slips his tongue into Lancelot's mouth and moans as he feels Arthur's fingernails dig into his thighs.

When Merlin hears Arthur growling in his ear and feels his erection pressing against him, he draws away from Lancelot. He twists in the grip Arthur has on him just enough to grasp the back of his head with one hand, pushing his fingers through his hair. Merlin opens his mouth and feels Arthur's tongue push against his. Lancelot dips his head down, presses his mouth against Merlin's collarbone and Arthur doesn't have any argument against that.

Neither does Merlin.

_**END**_


	16. Flurry

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** -

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Flurry**

Hunting when the ground is covered with snow is tricky enough but it's even more difficult when Merlin slips anywhere he stands. Each time he knocks Arthur off balance and causes whatever animal they managed to track down to flee. When they spot a rabbit, Arthur decides it will be the last before he orders them back to the castle. He crouches and hopes Merlin will be able to stay still.

But he doesn't. He slips, as usual, and drops the arrows he was carrying. Until then Lancelot was staying out of things when Merlin slips and helping Arthur with tracking. When Merlin falls just as Arthur lines up an arrow with the so-far unsuspecting rabbit, Lancelot lurches forward to catch him.

And he slips as well. Both of them land heavily on top of Arthur and as his surprised and pained yelp roars through the trees, the rabbit escapes and the arrow lands in a tree. Arthur twists as much as he can underneath Merlin, who is being pressed down by Lancelot, and starts telling him about what an idiot he is. Only to be brought to an abrupt halt when Merlin grabs a handful of snow and purposefully drops it on top of Arthur's head. It seems Lancelot can't help himself and starts to laugh. But before he can catch himself Arthur does by flicking snow up into his face and hair.

After that it becomes difficult to tell who threw which clump of snow. As they duck and dodge, often unsuccessfully, they're only just aware of their shouts and laughter, being soaking wet and feeling a lot like kids again.

It ends with Merlin being pinned to the ground with snow dumped just about everywhere. Arthur stands, brushes himself off and talks about how they should be getting back. As he agrees, Lancelot helps Merlin to his feet, brushes most of snow out of his hair and kisses him. When Lancelot does, he presses his gloved hands against Merlin's ears, which feel heavy and sting lightly from being exposed to the cold winter air.

Merlin almost forgets the arrows where he had dropped them. When he picks them up, he glances behind him, seeing Lancelot and Arthur through the trees. Arthur stands close to him as Lancelot runs his fingers through his hair. Their lips join and it's another reason for Merlin to hurry back to them.

_**END**_


	17. Dragon Talk

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Dragon Talk**

All he could really see of Lancelot as he rode away was the back of a horse and a helmet with a flowing red cape. It was enough to make Merlin feel as though his heart really was breaking apart.

"Perhaps you were right, Gaius," he said, partly to Gaius and partly to think out loud. "Perhaps I should never have got involved."

"No, Merlin, I was wrong. Lancelot needed you and you needed Lancelot."

_Need. Still do._

"You're destinies were entwined."

_Are._

He wanted to go after Lancelot and bring him back. Drag him if he had to. But the decision to leave was Lancelot's and knowing that was the only thing which kept Merlin where he was, no matter how much it hurt.

"Will he ever return?"

"That I cannot say."

"'til next time, then." Merlin kept talking partly to himself, trying to lift his spirits. Arthur would let him come back one day. Surely. "Sir Lancelot."

Merlin looked up the nearest tower and saw Arthur in the window, watching too as Lancelot vanished from sight. It made him think about how he had heard things like that before.

Both times they had been right.

_**END**_


	18. Can't Let It Be

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for Arthurian legend, (Guinevere's execution after her affair with Lancelot is exposed).

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Can't Let It Be**

At first it all seems unreal to Merlin. He's aware of the loud commotion which roars all around him. Of Lancelot as he charges through the crowd, his eyes blazing but never looking directly at Merlin or Arthur. Of Lancelot's sword as it slices through the air and those who stand in his way. Of the smoke which rushes up Merlin's nose and burns his throat.

Then he hears the soft screech as Arthur draws his sword. His eyes widen and his heart races painfully as he spins on his heels to grab Arthur's wrist, almost slicing his hands upon the blade as he does.

"Arthur, no!"

"Stand down, Merlin!" Arthur growls and it takes all of Merlin's strength to prevent him lifting the sword any higher.

"You don't want to do this!"

"Merlin!"

"He's saving you as well," Merlin cries over the sound of the panicked crowd and unsure guards, waiting for their king's orders. "If you kill either of them you'll never forgive yourself. You'll realise that soon."

"I can't let this go unchallenged," Arthur says and then his voice drops, heavy with regret. "Things aren't how they were anymore. You're the only one who doesn't seem to realise that."

But Arthur returns his sword to its sheath and twists his arms out of Merlin's grip. When Merlin looks over his shoulder the crowd is still a mess of panic but Gwen is gone from the stake, leaving only severed ropes. Both her and Lancelot are nowhere to be seen. Merlin is relieved until he turns back again and sees how furious Arthur looks as he glares out over the commotion. He's looking around carefully, trying to see if he can tell where Lancelot has gone.

"You still love him," says Merlin, much quieter. "I know it. You still miss him. Just as much as I do."

Arthur's glare turns to him.

"Arthur, please. Just give it some time before you go after them."

"Things need to be seen to here first. But, understand Merlin, I still need to pursue this. No matter what Lancelot meant."

"_Means._"

Arthur looks at him with a gaze which makes Merlin's stomach feel like a rock. "Do what you can here."

Under the circumstances, it's the best answer Merlin can hope for so he does as he's ordered. But as he does he wonders once again when exactly everything had gone wrong.

_**END**_


	19. Road Home

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Slight spoilers for Arthurian legend. This ficlet is based on the appearance of Annowre in Arthurian legend. According to the information I have, Annowre was a sorceress who took a fancy to King Arthur. She trapped him and he rejected her advances. Annowre would have killed him were it not for the timely intervention by Lancelot, who killed her. (This information was taken from The Dictionary of Mythology by JA Coleman).

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Road Home**

The first thing Arthur became aware of was how he could feel himself moving. Not much and gently. But the last thing Arthur could remember was being chained to a wall.

When he opened his eyes he found that the walls and the chains were nowhere to be seen. And, indeed, he was moving. There were trees passing by, the sunlight was flickering through the gaps between the leaves onto his face. And there was Merlin on a horse.

At that moment, Merlin glanced over. When he saw Arthur with half open eyes, he looked towards something else and said; "he's awake."

Arthur could feel a dull ache in the back of his head, which he supposed was preventing him from thinking clearly and it was frustrating. As he tried to sit up, he felt that dull ache turn into a streak of pain which shot through his body and had him clutching his head with one hand as he groaned.

"Stay lying back." He heard a voice, a very familiar one, speaking to him as something gently tugged at his shoulders. Arthur did as the voice asked and looked up to realise that of course it sounded familiar. Because it was Lancelot.

"What happened?" he asked. Things were starting to clear now and Arthur was able to identify that he could feel himself moving because he was riding upon Lancelot's horse, balanced upon his lap and in his arms with his head resting upon his chest.

"You remember the witch, don't you?" said Merlin, looking at Arthur with one eyebrow raised, the other dipped. "Took a very intense liking to you? Wouldn't take no for an answer? I checked you out before we set off and you didn't seem _that_ badly hurt."

Arthur _was_ remembering and it was making his head thump even more.

"You're such a girl, Arthur."

He glared at Merlin. "There's always room for you in the stocks."

Merlin looked towards Lancelot again and smiled. "He's fine."

"How far is it to Camelot?"

"One more day," said Lancelot. "We should be there just before nightfall tomorrow."

Arthur pushed himself that extra half an inch closer to Lancelot, moving his neck until he was comfortable resting his head against his chest. "Very well." Then his voice lowered. "Thanks, by the way." He closed his eyes, satisfied when he felt Lancelot's fingers run through his hair.

_**END**_


	20. Bedroll

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for Arthurian legend. Follows Road Home (previous chapter).

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Bedroll**

Before Merlin even opened his mouth, Arthur knew he was lying about forgetting an extra bedroll. It was the look on his face that did it; the eyes which glanced everywhere but directly at him how his mouth turned upwards in that particular way.

Well, they had to only pack the bare minimum. That was the excuse Merlin switched to when Arthur managed to look him in the eyes and tell him he didn't believe him. A sorceress who had severe problems with taking no for an answer like that was liable to do something drastic, which she very almost did, so they had to get there as soon as possible. Even then, they had only _just_ made it.

That was fair enough, so Arthur went to share with Lancelot.

"You may have blasted the door down," Arthur told Merlin. "But Lancelot was the one who put the sword through Annowre's heart."

Merlin looked towards Lancelot for some help and found it when he was nodded over.

When the fire burned down to smouldering embers it's cold at night. Arthur wouldn't have noticed it too much because he was tucked as far as he could comfortably get underneath Lancelot and in his arms and Merlin was pressed against his back. Merlin created an atmosphere around them to keep the cold temperature and the chilled winds from touching their bodies.

There was the sound of clothing moving and Arthur moaning softly as Lancelot's hands ran down his sides, along his leg and over his thigh. Those touches kept straying over to Merlin, tugging at his sleeves to pull him closer and fingering at his hair.

Merlin managed to snake both arms around Arthur and take his wrists. He ran his thumbs over the skin, feeling the burns and cuts caused by Annowre's chains. Wrapping his fingers around Arthur's wrists, he did what he could to soothe and heal those wounds. She was foolish, he thought. Arthur had never belonged to anyone and never would.

_**END**_


	21. Heartbreaker

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Heartbreaker**

It's one of the toughest decisions Lancelot has had to make. But hearing the mumbled words of conflict between father and son coming through the thick wooden door made up his mind for him.

He makes it as quick as he can, speaking his intentions to leave Camelot and go far away to start all over again. He wants to return one day, but is careful on how he words that, saying that perhaps fate will grant him another chance.

The last thing he sees as he turns to leave the throne room is Arthur. His lips are parted, down turned and he almost looks like he doesn't understand. But he does and his eyes reflect both sadness and hurt. It's heartbreak and Lancelot knows it.

Turning away to follow through with his own words is the toughest thing he's ever done. Lancelot forces himself to keep looking at the floor as he leaves the throne room and hears the doors close behind him. The sound echoes briefly off the stone walls and then continues to ring in his ears. As he leaves, he sees Merlin's feet take an unsure step towards him and then stop. Lancelot doesn't look up at him. Seeing Arthur heartbroken was difficult enough but if he were to see the same thing in Merlin then Lancelot had no idea what it might do to him. Just hearing Merlin call after him, sounding so uncertain, was almost too much.

_**END**_


	22. Support Network

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Slight spoilers for Arthurian legend. This ficlet is based upon a certain part of Arthurian legend, occurring after the battles on the Continent with Lucius. Upon the return to Britian, a great feast was held in celebration. Here Lancelot met Elaine, (daughter of King Pelles), once more and was again tricked by Dane Brisen, (her maid), into sleeping with her in the belief that he was sharing Guinevere's bed. When he realised what happened, he went mad, jumped from the window and roamed the country living like an animal for many months. (This information was taken from The Dictionary of Mythology by JA Coleman). This ficlet takes place after Lancelot's madness and his return to Camelot.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Support Network**

When Lancelot returned this time it was clear he wasn't healthy in either his body or his mind. While it caused concern, physical damage didn't worry Arthur too much because he knew they were things which could easily be seen to. It was what went on in his head which bothered him. Lancelot's skin was pale, his face shadowed and his eyes often had a distant look, as though nightmares were playing out before them.

Merlin made draughts to help him sleep and they had varying results. Sometimes it looked like Lancelot was getting better. Other times it didn't.

Arthur knew Lancelot was sleeping with Merlin, in the small room at the back of the physician's quarters. It was the best thing, Merlin told him. If Lancelot woke up in a bad state then he would be on hand to treat him.

Arthur quickly made a habit of going to see them when he could. He would walk up the steps to the door of the physician's quarters and knock twice. Usually Merlin would shout to come in, but this time he didn't. Arthur pushed open the door, supposing Merlin and Lancelot were in the back room. He approached the door to that room, (dodging around the 'organised' mess which had appeared since Merlin took Gaius' place as physician), and reached out to pull it open when he heard Merlin speak. The thick wooden door muffled the sound so Arthur leaned in so he may hear.

"It hurt him, you know, when you suddenly left like that," Merlin said. "Me as well."

"I know." Lancelot's voice sounded heavy and regretful.

"Lancelot, what happened?" Merlin urged. "If I know, I might be able to make a more effective medicine for you. If you'd just tell me."

Arthur waited but when no response came he banged his knuckles against the door once and then pushed it open. When he stepped into the room, he saw Lancelot sitting on the bed, slumped forward. Merlin knelt in front of him, pressing his forehead against Lancelot's and resting his hand upon his knee. Both looked towards the sound of Arthur entering. Lancelot looked away first, hanging his head even lower. He was looking much worse.

Arthur sat on the bed beside him and pushed back the hair which had fallen into Lancelot's face.

"I'm staying with you tonight."

Lancelot nodded and Merlin smiled.

_**END**_


	23. Fruition

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 4 and 5.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

--

**Fruition**

The first time Merlin realises he loves Arthur is as he recovers from Nimueh's poison. When Arthur comes to see him they keep shying away from each other's eye contact and the atmosphere whenever they speak feels heavy and awkward. As Arthur leaves, Merlin calls him back to thank him. There are so many other things on the edge of his tongue waiting to spill out. But Merlin doesn't let them.

There's something in Arthur's eyes as he smiles and Merlin knows he understands.

He goes to Arthur the next morning, as expected. The atmosphere is still heavy and there are things Merlin still can't let himself say. But he doesn't need to because the looks, the touches and the kisses Arthur gives him are enough. Those words aren't needed after that.

xxx

When Lancelot comes, Merlin realises he loves him the night before the final test. They had both shared Merlin's bed before then, sleeping back to back, only just able to avoid falling onto the floor as long as they didn't mind being pressed very close together, (and no objection had been raised at all). On that night he lays half on top of Lancelot, whose stomach twists and heart hammers as he worries. Merlin strokes his hair and tells him that he has every faith possible in him. This time tomorrow Lancelot will have achieved what he's worked to hard to gain.

Merlin kisses him before he realises what he's doing. When he jerks away, Lancelot's eyes are the first thing he sees and there's an understanding there. It's different than what he saw in Arthur. But at the same time it's so similar.

xxx

As Lancelot and Arthur sit together during the knighting celebration, Merlin sees what he feels reflected in them. Sometimes they seem to look away from each other and Merlin only just spots the quick bite of the bottom lip when they do. They're sitting close enough to each other for Arthur to get away with briefly touching his leg or his hand to Lancelot's every now and again.

The hour is late when the celebration ends and Merlin looks up in time to see Arthur and Lancelot leaving through the door together. Arthur looks over his shoulder, catches Merlin's eye and gestures with his head, silently ordering him to them.

Merlin doesn't need to be told twice.

_**END**_


	24. Cruel Fate

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Character death. Spoilers for Arthurian legend.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Cruel Fate**

The rain is heavy and the storm fierce but Lancelot doesn't pay it any attention at first. All that matters is getting back to Arthur's side and aiding him. Upon arriving on the battlefield, he sees the cause of the violent weather and his heart sinks. Merlin crouches on the ground, hunches over Arthur's body, clutches him close and screams as though his chest will burst if he were to stop. Magic crackles dangerously around him, which keeps the knights away. One by one they notice the presence of their old comrade and their looks go warily back and forth between him and Merlin. Those stood in Lancelot's way step back as he approaches Merlin. He tries to get a look at Arthur as he goes and feels the heavy pain in his chest grow. Sparks of magic keep getting in the way and Merlin holds Arthur as close as he can to his body, wrapping his arms tightly around him. But, from what Lancelot can see, Arthur doesn't appear to be moving. A vile, bitter taste rushes up his throat.

"Merlin."

When Merlin looks up, his eyes fill with tears on top of the ones already there. His lips move to silently speak Lancelot's name. Merlin's eyes are sorrowful, broken, but Lancelot knows it's okay. He steps through the magic shield without any harm coming to him. Inside it rains even harder and Lancelot knows Merlin is the direct cause. He keeps holding Arthur tightly and he's soaked with the blood of the dead king. When Lancelot sees that, he falls to his knees, close before them.

"Lancelot," Merlin chokes. Both his voice and his body shake, not with cold but with grief. "I couldn't... failed... I... I'm sorry..."

"No." Lancelot shakes his head because it all feels so wrong. Wrong that Arthur is dead, wrong that he couldn't be by his side and so wrong that Merlin, who has always been nothing but loyal to the king, should be apologising to the one branded a traitor.

"He's dead!" Merlin screams. "I couldn't save him!"

It rains even harder as Lancelot holds Merlin as close as possible without crushing Arthur between them. As Merlin screams and cries into his chest, the lump Lancelot's throat feels unbearable and he feels his eyes start to sting. He fails again because he can't be strong when Merlin needs it most.

_**END**_

xxx

**A/N:** This ficlet was based on the information found on a page at .uk; 'War between Lancelot and Arthur resulted, but was broken off when Arthur had to return to Camelot to deal with Mordred's rebellion. Hearing of this, Lancelot returned to aid Arthur but arrived too late to save him from a mortal wound.'


	25. Between Two

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Between Two**

Lancelot has never seen anything like Arthur and Merlin before. Any other servant under any other master would have surely been removed from their position long ago. But somehow Merlin is able to stand that half an inch too close and allow his gaze to linger upon Arthur for that moment too long. He fumbles when he pulls on Arthur's chain mail and Lancelot is sure he sees Merlin's fingers slip on purpose. Arthur seems to allow it.

Apparently the rest of Camelot doesn't notice but it's glaringly obvious to Lancelot what is between them. He's never had anything like that and he doesn't hope for it either. Nobody will ever have anything like what there is between Arthur and Merlin.

xxx

From the start Merlin was never punctual but since Lancelot arrived it's become worse. What adds insult to injury is that Arthur notices the way Merlin comes in smoothing down his hair and with a small smile which makes him look like some foolish love-struck maiden.

Arthur doesn't know the exact sleeping arrangements, but he is aware that Merlin's room only has one small bed. But Merlin is that scrawny he could probably get away with lying on top of Lancelot.

His thoughts turn to them at night. It's easy to imagine their tangled limbs, linked fingers and whispers of things Arthur will never know about.

His own bed feels cold.

xxx

The more ale Arthur drinks the more he looks as though he's going to jump Lancelot right there. But Lancelot doesn't seem adverse to the sly touches and how Arthur leans in closer than necessary to speak to him.

Merlin can't go to them unless Arthur wants serving but he seems happy practically molesting Lancelot. So Merlin stays on the other side of the room and tries to occupy himself with drinking as much ale as he can as well. Until Gwen slaps his hand away from another tankard and tells him he's had enough.

He leaves soon afterwards and stumbles down the hallways. When he feels dizzy again, he leans against the wall and feels a pair of hands upon his arm and shoulder steadying him.

Merlin smiles and pushes himself away from the wall to lean against Lancelot's chest. He feels Arthur's hand upon his back and all of a sudden the things they see but can't have don't matter so much anymore.

_**END**_


	26. Would Believe Lies

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Character death. Small spoilers concerning Arthurian legend. Follows Cruel Fate, (part 24 of this collection).

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Would Believe Lies**

With the king dead, Camelot was thrown into darkness. Guinevere would not leave the nunnery and it had been years since anyone had heard of Morgana, so Lancelot was the only one left with Merlin. Arthur's death had hit him hard. He barely ate and screamed with nightmares when he slept. If Lancelot had to leave, it was never for long. He was afraid of Merlin doing something foolish.

While Merlin slept, Lancelot took to sitting by him, as though keeping guard. Night was falling when Merlin surprised him by suddenly asking: "Do you remember those raiders you told me about who destroyed your village?"

Lancelot swallowed hard with a dry throat. "Yes."

"Does the pain ever go away? Even only a bit?"

Lancelot suddenly felt his age, heavy in his body.

"If you lie," Merlin looked at him with red-rimmed eyes, "I'll believe you."

Something stabbed at Lancelot in the chest as he saw Merlin so lost in his grief he desperately hoped for false promises. But Lancelot couldn't give them to him. "No." He shook his head. "It never goes away. Somehow it just becomes part of your every day and you need to learn how to stand up to move forward again."

"I went through such a lot because of that- that prat," Merlin's voice jumped. "I drank poison, I got blasted by magic, I was mauled by monsters." He swallowed hard. "And you. It always hurt when you left. But at least you always came back."

"Merlin-"

"I can't stand up like you said." A pained whine came from Merlin as he squeezed his eyes shut again and curled himself into a ball. He reached for Lancelot, who slid out of the small chair he sat on and knelt beside him. But Merlin pulled on his shirt until Lancelot climbed onto the bed with him. "I love you. I do." Merlin pulled Lancelot on top of him and clutched at him tightly. "But it hurts so much."

"I know." Lancelot ran his fingers through Merlin's hair and held him tightly through what would be another sleepless night. He felt that crushing pain as well, but kept silent as Merlin shook and wept. His own guilt quietly shredded him apart from the inside.

It was the least he deserved. He should have been there to save Arthur.

_**END**_


	27. Take It Slow

**Rating:** PG-13

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Take It Slow**

The best place for Arthur is on the battlefield. He's in his element there, can grab control so easily and devise a winning strategy with one look at the situation. It's a place of pain and death, where a man's life can be snatched away in an instant and he knows that. But there still isn't anything which feels like the rush going all through his body and the way his head throbs as his senses are assaulted with all the sights, sounds and smells around him.

Times where the day passes slowly and quietly are inevitable but Arthur supposes they're not always so bad. There's nothing like the whole experience of the battlefield, but there's also nothing like watching Merlin lazily trace his fingertips over Lancelot's bare chest. He can't quite make out what exactly Merlin is drawing, aside the odd circle, but it's still oddly fascinating to watch his fingers grazing over the light scars which mark Lancelot's chest and the dip around his collarbones.

Lancelot himself was somewhere between dozing and only just being awake. His eyelids kept sliding open and shut. Merlin had his head rested just above Lancelot's shoulder. So whenever Lancelot's head started to roll it would be nudged back up.

"Stop that," Arthur says eventually, tugging on Lancelot's shoulders enough to allow his head to roll onto his shoulder instead. "I need Lancelot well-rested."

A frown crossed Merlin's face and the movement of his fingers stopped for a moment. "He's always been fine and ready to fight in any situation before."

"On the battlefield, he is exceptional. It's you wearing him out with all these weird ideas you keep having which worries me."

Merlin smiled and his eyes seemed to take on a mischievous glint before he turned his attention back to whatever he's drawing with his fingertips on Lancelot's chest. Arthur thinks he sees Lancelot smile as well. But by the time he turns to look Lancelot has succumbed to sleep.

_**END**_


	28. Sick Leave

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5. Those squeamish when it comes to vomit may want to skip this.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Sick Leave**

Merlin groans loudly and wants nothing more than to flop forward. Except such an action will result in him landing face-first in a bucket of something he doesn't want to look at or even think about. Except he can smell it and still taste it in his mouth and that's enough to make Merlin retch again.

He feels Lancelot's hand move slowly on his back. When Merlin leans against Lancelot's shoulder he feels the hand on his back move up to his head; soothing but ready to push him back towards the bucket should Merlin start to show any signs of vomiting again.

Behind him, Merlin hears Arthur huff. He can see Gaius to his left and he looks as Arthur sounds; completely unsympathetic. Gaius hands Merlin a cup of water and tells him; "I've got some delivery rounds to make, then I'll find something to settle your stomach. Think you can hold out until then?"

"Yeah." Merlin takes some water into his mouth, then leans forward to spit it into the bucket. When he leans back into Lancelot, Gaius nods and leaves.

"If I didn't know you'd be complaining all day, I'd still make you work," Arthur says. "But I expect double from you tomorrow."

"Thanks." Merlin mumbles. He tries a smile but even that makes his head hurt and his stomach tighten. It's better than what he expected from an annoyed Arthur.

"You should come," Arthur tells Lancelot. "After all the begging he did to get you into training-"

"I didn't," Merlin protests weakly.

"-he'll whine even more if you fail your test because you fell behind."

"You'll be okay?" Lancelot asks and Merlin nods, slightly, once.

"Don't worry." Merlin tries to stand but his head feels like it attempts leap in every single direction at once. He feels Lancelot's hand leave his head and hold his shoulder, then Merlin finds himself lifted from the floor and being placed back on his bed.

"Hope you beat him," Merlin says. He's just added to his workload tomorrow, but it's worth being able to get away with it for now. Arthur rolls his eyes before he turns to leave. Lancelot grants Merlin a last smile before he follows the prince out of the room.

He hears Arthur tell Lancelot; "You shouldn't feel sorry for him. It's his own stupid fault if he drank too much."

Somehow it makes Merlin smile.

_**END**_


	29. Dusting Off Skeletons

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5 and 10. Future fic (i.e: King Arthur).

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Dusting Off Skeletons**

If they end up sharing the same bed, (always Arthur's; it's the only one just about big enough), Merlin notices that Lancelot always sleeps on the edge, with his arm draped over one of them and his hand resting on the other. After watching him for a while, Merlin thinks Lancelot doesn't even realise he's doing so. If Arthur notices anything, Merlin suspects he just likes the attention considering he often ends up in the middle.

When he can't sleep, Merlin watches Lancelot, on his stomach and as close to Arthur as he can get without being on top of him. His arm is always over them. It's that action which causes Merlin to think back to what Lancelot told him about why he wanted so much to be a knight. He gave minimal detail and Merlin hadn't pushed it because he had caught that flash of pain in Lancelot's eyes which was old but still raw. Merlin knew Lancelot didn't ever want to be weak and being a knight meant protecting the kingdom. Protecting Arthur.

Merlin had given a lot to keep Arthur safe since coming to Camelot. He had thought he knew something of how Lancelot felt. Then he found himself in front of Will's burning body, thinking about all the things he should have done to save him, and realised he knew nothing.

He wonders if Lancelot ever allowed himself to care for anybody. After losing everything like that, Merlin wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

Than Lancelot came of Camelot.

Sometimes he sees Lancelot's eyebrows dip down and the corners of his mouth move in his sleep. Merlin doesn't know what he's dreaming about, but takes his hand and holds it to his lips.

"It's okay," he says, feeling his lips move against Lancelot's fingers. "We're still here."

Merlin never knows if Lancelot ever hears him somehow. Often his face keeps moving in reaction to something only he can see and small noises slip out between his lips. Sometimes Arthur moves closer to him in his sleep.

Things always go on as normal the next morning. Sometimes, if there are plans for battle or whisperings of a plot, Merlin sees the way Lancelot watches Arthur carefully and stays closer beside him than usual. Merlin does the same thing. He doesn't know how Lancelot feels, but thinks he somewhat understands. The pain of loss never really goes.

_**END**_


	30. Interwoven

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for episode 5 and Arthurian legend.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Interwoven**

Sometimes when Morgana dreams she sees webs, which overlap and tangle with each other.

A stranger has come to Camelot. She doesn't know anything about him, but sees him at the training for those who wish to join the knighthood. Since she has been seeing him, Gwen often comes to her with a shy smile and a far away gaze.

That stranger enters her dreams sometimes. Morgana sees him, along with Arthur and Merlin. They're entwined together; three pieces which make a whole. But sometimes those webs fall over them. Morgana sees Arthur's eyes blaze with an angry fire. The stranger's back is turned. Merlin tries so desperately to reach both of them but just can't. On those nights when she wakes up she shudders and tears fall from her eyes.

At the knighting ceremony, she learns his name. Lancelot. During the celebration, Morgana keeps a subtle watch on him. She sees a smile so sincere on both Lancelot and Arthur as they sit together, drinking and laughing. Merlin stands with Gwen and his gaze keeps going to them. He looks so proud. It's unbelievable that this man who brings so much happiness will later bring so much pain and she almost hates him for it.

Morgana despairs that her own sweet Gwen will be dragged into such a horrible mess. She sees her as well in those dreams, tangled in those webs and that fire. She feels such an intense heat in her own chest as she resolves to try and protect Gwen and force her dreams to be wrong.

If those webs and those fires do start to show, Morgana tries to put faith in them that those better times and those smiles will be remembered. That perhaps they'll prove destiny wrong.

_**END**_


	31. Pulsation

**Rating:** PG-13

**Notes:** Modern day AU.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Pulsation**

It was Merlin's own fault. Working evenings as bar staff at a nightclub with rainbow flags in the windows was practically an invitation for them to inflict their own personal torture upon him. Even so, Merlin didn't really want for them to stop.

Lancelot was the best at holding his drink. He still had a relatively clear head while Arthur clung to him to stay upright. Arthur was surprisingly affectionate when intoxicated and Lancelot was perfectly willing to go along with what he wanted. He allowed Arthur to slip his hands underneath his shirt and push up until it was hanging from Lancelot's elbows. It wasn't long after that Arthur would shed his shirt in the same way, wanting that flesh to flesh contact of heat and sweat and to feel the thrum of the music pounding from the speakers moving through their bodies. Their lips would press fiercely together and their tongues would twist around each other. Arthur kept close to Lancelot, pressing their bodies together and grinding their hips against each other. All while Lancelot kept his hand spread over Arthur's back and would glance up to warn others away.

It nearly drove Merlin crazy.

They weren't doing it in front of him, but once Merlin spotted them in the pulsing crowd it was impossible for him to ignore them when they were just two pairs of trousers away from fucking right then and there. What was worse was suddenly realising he was _trying_ to see where they were.

It made him feel the beat of the music pounding in his ears more than ever as his pulse raced and heat rushed down between his legs. He tried to move in a way which wouldn't make it obvious his trousers were suddenly feeling far too tight, so was sure everyone did notice. If they did, they never said anything.

After a night of a dry throat and a buzzing head, they at least waited for his shift to finish. By then, Arthur had often fallen asleep and Lancelot was only just awake, keeping a protective arm around Arthur's shoulder. Merlin was also tired by then, so would sit and wind his fingers between Lancelot's and Arthur's. He would trail lazy kisses along Lancelot's jaw and timed things carefully because he knew how long it would take for the ordered taxi to pull up.

_**END**_


	32. Bed Hair

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Bed Hair**

As far as Merlin is concerned, Lancelot has the best bed hair. It's the sort which sticks out at strange angles and often needs water-heavy fingers to get it back under control. Merlin's own hair sometimes sticks out too, but not nearly as much, and Arthur's barely does anything.

Lancelot is often the sort to wake up alert and ready. But sometimes his eyes are bleary, don't completely open right away and Lancelot is very reluctant to even try lifting his head. It's that sort of look, still sleepy and not focused at all, which Merlin finds himself favouring. But that look only tends to come the morning after they've been drinking too much, which means Merlin is lucky to even be awake to see it at all, never mind able to open his eyes. Whether he's able to or not is usually down to Arthur. If they need to be somewhere the next morning, he'll keep an eye on how much ale is passed around, particularly in Merlin's case.

Merlin is roused when Lancelot shifts and starts trying to identify which limbs are his. He wakes Arthur as he tries to pull his arm out from underneath him. Arthur's eyes don't open but Merlin can tell because of the way his eyebrows dip down and how his lips press together.

Arthur mutters something, his voice heavy and groggy, but Merlin can't quite hear what he says. It doesn't matter. Arthur rolls over to pin Lancelot beneath him and the way he exhales heavily makes it clear he doesn't plan on moving for a while. There's still time before they need to be anywhere. Merlin shifts closer to them, pushes his face against the back of Lancelot's head, into that hair which sticks out at strange angles, and hopes that maybe the next time he wakes up that buzzing ache in his head will be gone.

_**END**_


	33. Such Sweet Sorrow

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Also with LancelotxGwen. Character death and spoilers concerning Arthurian legend.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Such Sweet Sorrow**

"Guinevere, won't you come with me?" he asks, on his knees and holding her hand. "Please?"

It hurts to even shake her head in refusal, but Gwen knows she has to stay with the choices she made. "I can't," she tells him. "I'm sorry. I'm staying here."

Lancelot gives her a pleading look and for a moment it reminds Gwen of the looks Merlin would give sometimes. It causes her to fall to her knees, wrap her arms around Lancelot's neck and hold him close.

"You should go back to Camelot," she says.

"I'm not sure I'd be welcomed." He pushes his face into her neck.

"Merlin would. He's all by himself now that-" she feels the words start to catch in her throat. "Now that Arthur is gone. He needs you. Go back to him."

She feels Lancelot's grip on her tighten a little, but isn't sure if it's because he doesn't want to leave or if the memories are still too painful. Gwen suspects it to be both.

"I know you still care a lot about him." She runs her fingers through his hair and smoothes it away from his eyes. "You do still love him."

While it had lasted, it made them happy. Gwen knew that, but didn't say it. Lancelot knew.

Lancelot pushes himself away to look at her in surprise. "...how long?"

Gwen shrugs, feeling almost playful in the action. "A while, I suppose. Merlin can be a bit," she searches for the word, "obvious, sometimes, once you know him well. He was my close friend and you know what he was like with drink."

"Hopeless," Lancelot agrees. He smiles fondly as he rises to his feet and Gwen stands with him. "I'll come back and see you."

"That won't be allowed," Gwen says, glancing nervously behind her. "Sister, she-"

"Don't worry about her. Besides, Merlin will want to see you."

Gwen smiled. "I'd like to see him as well."

When Gwen kisses him in farewell on the forehead, she hears his whisper of; "Thank you."

As Lancelot leaves he doesn't look back, which Gwen is pleased about. Lancelot has seen her cry before but she didn't want for anything which might change his mind.

_**END**_


	34. Staying Power

**Rating:** PG-13

**Notes:** Sexual content. Future fic.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Staying Power**

It doesn't take much consideration for Merlin to realise that of course Arthur and Lancelot have more stamina than him. They are the ones who need to survive on the battlefield, sometimes only just. Merlin has seen them come back with parts of their armour missing and their weapons splattered with gore. He's traced his fingers along their scars and licked the blood from their cheeks.

This isn't one of those times and Merlin is happy about it. It means he can sleep knowing they'll still be alive the next morning. As he lays in Arthur's bed, he's tired and would love to close his eyes to sleep. But he's much more interested in watching Arthur straddle Lancelot, bite at his lips and then see the flash of tongues when Lancelot's teeth part. When Arthur breaks away, it's often to scrape his teeth along Lancelot's chin and the top of his neck and to stroke his fingers down the wrists he pins down into the sheets. Arthur keeps rolling his hips, practically thrusting them down, to grind their bodies together and the whines and groans that draws from Lancelot cause shudders to pass through Merlin.

Arthur happens to look over to him just as Merlin runs his tongue over his lips, attempting to wet them. He smirks in _that_ way, which Merlin still isn't sure whether he hates more than he loves or loves more than he hates. While Arthur pushes his face back into Lancelot's neck, he releases one of the wrists he was holding down. As soon as his hand is free, Lancelot reaches out to Merlin, who doesn't move until those searching fingertips brush against his cheek. Then he goes to them. He feels Lancelot's hand grip at the back of his neck, then their lips join and Merlin finally allows his eyes to close. While Lancelot's tongue slides against his, Merlin feels the sheets being pulled down his hips and off them. Arthur bites and licks at the skin he's exposed but when Merlin reaches down, feeling pulsing heat streaking through his body and wanting to push Arthur towards it, Lancelot catches his wrist.

Merlin still feels tired and his body is heavy with it. But it's slowly being pushed away by the loving affection Lancelot gives him and the sweet torture Arthur inflicts on his body. To say Merlin didn't mind would be an understatement.

_**END**_


	35. Haunted

**Rating:** G

**Notes:** Future fic. The fate of Uther in this fic is based on The Mists of Avalon, of which I have only seen the television mini series.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Haunted**

Years ago, when Merlin watched Gaius try to rid Morgana of her nightmares, he would come to wonder if the reason for his failure was because they were terrible warnings rather than dreams. Now that it was him mixing the draughts for Arthur, Merlin was beginning to think all nightmares were incurable.

It had been a year since Uther Pendragon fell in battle. Since then Gaius had taught him how to prepare sleeping draughts and Merlin kept trying hard to find a mixture which would banish the nightmares Arthur suffered since. All had failed.

During the middle of the night, Merlin went to the king's chambers. He had been up late again, looking up different plants for anything which might help, and wanted to see if his latest mixture was working at all. When he opened the door, he stopped when he saw Arthur sleeping and another figure sitting beside him. Then Merlin stepped inside as he recognised the figure as Lancelot, who had returned not too many months ago.

"How is he?" Merlin asked as he approached them. He returned Lancelot's tired smile before looking to Arthur.

"Better than last night," Lancelot said, just as Arthur groaned, shifted in his sleep and his eyebrows dipped down.

Merlin didn't realise he was moving until Lancelot lifted his arm to stop him. "Let him sleep."

"Like that, the result will be the same as though he stayed up all night."

"I've had nightmares like his for most of my life," Lancelot explained, lowering his arm. "Even if you wake him, he'll have to sleep again sooner or later. Then they'll come back."

Merlin didn't like it, but did nothing to wake Arthur. Instead he climbed over Lancelot to rest between them. Before long he felt his eyelids grow heavy and slouched down. When he quickly gave in to his own tiredness, he heard Lancelot speak again.

"If there is anything you can do, with your magic I mean, to help him get rid of those nightmares, you would, wouldn't you?"

Despite his body feeling heavy and tired, Merlin smiled and it was genuine. "Of course."

Before he slipped into sleep, Merlin turned to gently wrap his arms around Arthur and pushed his face into the back of his neck. Merlin didn't know how to use his magic to get rid of Arthur's nightmares. But he would start trying.

_**END**_


	36. Belong

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Future fic

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Belong**

Arthur watched Merlin, who was sprawled over Lancelot's chest and breathing through his mouth as he slept, his body spent. It looked to him as though Lancelot was nearly asleep, his eyes were almost closed. Then Merlin made a small noise in his sleep and moved, nudging Lancelot's chin up and causing his eyes to open again.

Upon observing that Merlin had managed to wind his arms a little more around Lancelot, Arthur felt the corners of his lips pull upwards and his chest jump a little with a small laugh. "He's glad you're back."

Lancelot looked to him with eyes which were hooded, his eyelids heavy because he was so tired. But he smiled. "So I gather."

There was a question Arthur could see in Lancelot's eyes, one which he wouldn't voice because, well, that was Lancelot.

_And you?_

It was a question which, left alone, would probably never be spoken, but Arthur gave his answer. He leaned over Lancelot and kissed him. Only briefly, just quickly enough to get his point across, but it sent a heat to his gut, a clench to his throat and it suddenly dawned on Arthur how long it had been since he last felt at peace like that.

"I don't know where you belonged before you came here," Arthur told him, settling down again as close to Lancelot as he could get and resting one hand on Merlin's back. "But I don't care either. You're home now. So don't leave again."

_**END**_


	37. Companionship

**Rating:** PG

**Notes:** Spoilers for 1x05

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Companionship**

The more he watched Lancelot, the more Merlin was able to add to the little he knew of him. There were things he didn't think he'd ever know, such as what Lancelot's parents were like or whose rule the village was under. Those things were never spoken about. But if Merlin knew one thing for sure, it was that Lancelot had been alone for a long time. So long Merlin didn't think about it too much because he didn't think he'd be able to stand it.

Lancelot told Merlin about why he wanted to become a knight briefly and once, then it wasn't mentioned again. Words weren't needed because it was his actions which practically screamed to Merlin that Lancelot had found so much more in companionship than he had ever expected to in Camelot. It was in the way Lancelot's kisses were long and deep, how he memorised Merlin's and Arthur's bodies with his lips and his tongue and how he kept those small touches. His fingertips brushed against Arthur's arm or his hand rested on Merlin's shoulder, just to know they were really there. Arthur practically revelled in the attention Lancelot so willingly gave without order and Merlin was beginning to struggle to remember when he hadn't woken with Lancelot's arms around him.

When Lancelot left, it hurt to think he would be alone again and Merlin never did truly understand why he willingly made that choice. In a way, he hoped it hurt Lancelot as well because then he would come back.

_**END**_


	38. Call It Even

**Rating:** low R for slight sexual content

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Call It Even**

Arthur's bed could accommodate three, as long as they didn't mind being so close together there was barely half an inch between them. It was something Arthur supposed he would be able to put up with, but often he woke to find Merlin sprawled over Lancelot. Experience had managed to teach Merlin that he was likely to get a sudden and rude awakening when Arthur shoved him away, whereas Lancelot was much less likely to, If he did it was gentle, coaxing Merlin out of sleep.

Sometimes when he looked at them something would stir in Arthur's mind and he recalled that he owed them both his very life. But it was a debt neither would ever call on. For Lancelot, it was duty, for want of a better word. Part of what came with being Arthur's knight and lover. Merlin was a little harder to figure out, but there was always something about him which Arthur was unable to put his finger on. In the end he just settled on the decision that it was Merlin being Merlin.

When he surrendered his body to them, it didn't feel anything like repaying the debt he would forever owe. During those times, Arthur didn't even think of it as such. Debt had always sounded like something undesirable, but Arthur gave himself because he wanted to. He wanted the feeling of Lancelot's tongue in his mouth and his fingers clutching at his hair and shoulders. Merlin often settled between Arthur's legs and do all sorts of wicked things with his fingers and tongue which would make Arthur scream and become reduced to a shuddering wreck.

The debt of Arthur's life had never been mentioned and he knew why. Himself, Merlin, Lancelot. They all owed each other the same thing. As far as that was concerned, it was easier to just call it even.

_**END**_


	39. Between the Lines

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Between the Lines**

Arthur had memories, which he often couldn't help smiling at a little, of back when he was a young child, where attempts were made to tell him stories to calm him down and get him to sleep. Often Arthur was a difficult audience, saying that fairytales were for girls.

But, he had to admit, he liked the parts of the stories which were about the prince. The prince was always handsome and brave and his sword work could never be matched by anybody else. The prince always defeated the monster or the evil witch and he always rescued the princess, ending in their living happily ever after.

Years later, Arthur knew he had grown to match the standards of a being a prince as presented in those stories. In fact, he was sure he was better. He was fearless, unbeaten when it came to the sword, (no matter what Morgana said), and, not to brag, but he wasn't exactly a troll when it came to looks either.

As for always getting the princess, Arthur was happy to skip that part. From what he could figure, the role of princess would fall upon Morgana. While Arthur would come to her rescue should it ever be needed, he was sure any happily ever after with her would only result in driving him completely up the wall.

Instead Arthur found his interest in other characters who rarely appeared in the stories, if at all. There was the servant, who also drove the prince up the wall quite a lot, but was somehow able to spark an interest in the way he spoke back and was always near. Then there was the knight, who was also brave and skilled in battle as well as loyal and willing to do each and every thing the prince said.

In the stories, the prince always got what he wanted. So Arthur didn't feel the need to choose.

_**END**_


	40. Echoes

**Rating:** PG-13; slight sexual content

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in connection with BBC's Merlin, nor do I make any money writing this fanfiction.

xxx

**Echoes**

In many ways, Lancelot's second, actual, knighthood celebration is a lot like the first one. It's mostly because Arthur takes every opportunity he can to touch their knees together or brush his hand up Lancelot's thigh during the quick moments when there are no eyes upon them. Or no eyes but Merlin's. Like before, Merlin keeps his distance for most of the time. But now it isn't because of status, it's because Merlin keeps moving from person to person, even the servants in attendance he made friends with back when he was Arthur's manservant, always with pleasant words to exchange with them.

He supposes it's within the early hours when they leave the hall together. They balance Merlin between them, trying to keep him on his feet and going in a relatively straight line. It seems Merlin will never be able to hold his ale and when he hiccups the paintings and suits of armour in the hallways change position.

The aftermath of the celebration is much like he remembers from last time as well. There's a buzz of ale in his head and when he wakes up, groggy and with his mind still clouded, his memory is made up of patches of flesh pressed together, fingers in his hair, tongues against his lips and mouths pressing hard against his neck.

But this time Lancelot doesn't have to leave the warmth of Arthur's bed and sneak back to the physician's quarters with Merlin. And this time he won't have to leave Camelot with the uncertainty of whether or not he'll ever be able to go back. This time he can stay right where he is.

_**END**_


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